Have you had insecurities tie your heart and mind in knots? I’ve found they can sneak up on me out of nowhere. I can walk into a room or meeting feeling confident in who I am and who I want to be. Then somebody looks a certain way or says a certain thing. The doubts pop in my head. My brain starts working on one little thought. Before I know it, my brain becomes a jumbled mess. I compare it to other moments where I felt the same way or somebody said or did a similar thing. I start questioning myself...What if they are right?
What if… I am less than? If I’ll never be enough? If I’m incompetent? If I don’t belong in the conversation? If I don’t have anything of value to add? If I shouldn’t have come in the first place?!?!
I start talking myself out of being there. I have to fight myself not to leave. I fight to remain engaged; to listen and observe what is going on around me instead of shutting down.
My insecurities lie to me sometimes. They keep me from being all that I am created to be.
Sometimes they keep me from taking risks in relationships, from learning new things or being around people who are way smarter and more talented than me. As a result, I can miss out. Miss out on learning, growing, and being challenged to be the best version of me.
Do you ever experience any of this? If so, here are some things I am learning.
I have to fight back and untangle the jumbled mess of insecurities. You see insecurities have a beginning. What if we traced them back to their root and asked ... what do I need to heal from OR what do I need to grow past this?
This week I had a fail exposed. It was uncomfortable and I started to internally shame myself.
Then, I was reminded; I have a choice.
I can head straight into the shame storm, start justifying how I got there or I can use it as an opportunity to be humble and learn. To be honest, I headed for the shame storm first. I started building a case against myself and trying to disqualify me from my own life. Then, God reminded me of what I have been called to. If I want to keep stepping into this, I can use this as an opportunity to grow. This time I am using it to learn. I admitted to myself and then two others that I had been holding onto something I should have handed off a while ago. As a leader, that is not who I want to be. I want to entrust and empower others to step into their callings as well. To get there, I must take a tangible step to untangle my insecurities and pull out their roots. It’s time to grow.
What insecurity do you need to begin to untangle today?
Written By Tammy Claughton